The Three Cornerstones of Love
What are the three most important rules to live by in fostering a healthy and vibrant relationship? To cultivate such a relationship, here is what’s most important in achieving long lasting love:
- Respect: Chances are that if you don’t respect your partner, you won’t make it as a couple. Therapists have claimed that if they notice any sign of contempt between partners and if there is a consistent disregard or dismissiveness of the other person’s point of view, it’s a good indication that the relationship won’t last. Respecting your partner as a person, respecting his or her boundaries as an individual and respecting your partner’s choices, desires and perspectives is vital to keeping the passion alive. The movie The Notebook is so important to relationships because it centres on two people from completely different upbringings who fall deeply in love, but always seem to have obstacles surrounding their relationship. While their road to happiness is long and tough, the characters Noah and Allison respect one another in which contributes to their happiness at the end.
- Empathy: An empathetic partnership means that you don’t discredit your partner’s views and that you are able to step into his or her experience and understand why he or she might feel a certain way about an issue, regardless of how you feel about it. If you are empathetic toward your partner, you will be less controlling and much more loving. Without empathy, neither one of you will be able to grow in your relationship. The movie Silver Linings Playbook is a great example of empathy exhibited by partners. For those who have seen the movie know that the beginning of Pat and Tiffany’s relationship was anything but glamorous. However, as each character learned more about the other’s background and hardships, not only did they empathize with one another, but they found a partner in one another.
- Authenticity: It’s absolutely vital that you are yourself with your partner and that your partner can be authentic with you. When both partners start presenting a false self to the other, that’s when the connection between two people can start to erode. Authenticity takes courage and a healthy sense of self. By being authentic, you are showing your partner who you are and this will in turn, bring greater intimacy into the relationship. The movie 500 Days of Summer evokes the last principle of a healthy relationship, authenticity. Characters Tom and Summer quickly begin a “relationship” following their first meeting. While their relationship didn’t end up as Tom may have liked, they were nothing but authentic with one another. By being authentic, Summer had the chance of really getting to know Tom and all his quirks.
